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Sunday, 12 February 2012

Saturday, 05 March 2011

  • Monday

    1.       So that was by far one of the most embarrassing things that has happened to me…..sooooidk what toe ven do…..i feel sick to my stomache right now and i cant deal with it….erin went too far….way too far…im sorry for what i did…but i am literally about to throw up

    a.       Where are you

    2.       Walking around

    a.       Well id come find you but there holding me to the table lol

    3.       I legit think I need to like switch schools or something….im not being dramatic…I feel horrible and I cant get away from it….the lunch ladies were even talking about it….i just don’t know what to do….

    4.       I really don’t have the ability to deal with this so…I think we should give it a while and u can hang with them and once I start to feel better we can start talking again…..

    a.       Number 4 came to me in math, and I had too like look up and blink back tears.

    5.       Although im extremely pissed at erin rite now im glad you have a good friend like her to have ur back…..im a jerk and I dnt think we should talk much anymore….sorry

    a.       This really did it I almost full on balled in my math class. To this one I said “would that really be ok with you, to just not talk to me anymore?

    6.       Not rly but it seems like it is to u and is it best?

    7.       Idk, what happened at lunch was horrible

    8.       Well not to put you in a bad position but somethings gotta be done about erin

    a.       She just gets mad at you be cause she doesn’t think ur nice to me

    9.       Hence…..something has to be done….

    a.       Yeah you have to show her that ur nice to me

    10.   I don’t have to show her crap…I am nice to you…we have our moments but I am nice to you…and I don’t want to have anything to do with her…not to be a butt…but she is ur problem to deal with…ill do my part but im not having anything to do with her

    a.       This isn’t even about her this is about me and you

    11.   Rite now this is about her

    a.       No its not

    12.   That ruined me…so many ppl are giving me shit

    13.   U weren’t at the other end of the attack at lunch…it has to do with her now

    14.   Im done….u don’t even know how embarrassing that was…whats going on between us is trivial compared to that…ever heard of the word bullying…that’s whats happening to me un huuuuuuuge numbers…….im done here cuz clearly you don’t care if ur friend is a complete huge asshole to me….sry….bye…I cant do this…..

    15.   Lindsey you don’t understand what that did to me today…if ur friends r gonna be like that to me and u don’t care then I have a problem with that…I already said id start doing my part idk what more u want me to say……..

    a.       I don’t want you to say anything I want you to act like you care about me hal as much as I care about you

    16.   Don’t care about me as much if it’s a chore for u………..

    17.   And you say what erin did wasn’t your fault but I was looking straight over at your two and u deliberately showed her [the sup bitch text]…..u r like best friends and you know how she reacts and how she is so u were clearly looking for a reaction out of her….so ummm ya it was ur fault…once again ur not getting the big picture…I understand that I did wrong too but u know that was huge……………..

    18.   And also…a question keeps coming up in my mind…..y were you so ridiculously nice to me all the time…more so than anyone else……despite ur claims of me not appreciating any of it or praising u for it….if im such an ass why not say…u know what fuck this…it doesn’t make sense to me at all….and if u were so mad at me why hide it from me….i didn’t know u were mad at me….if I knew I obviously woundnt have sent that….sooooo…..

    a.       You know how dare I be so nice to him these last 3 years, I mean how dumb am i?

    19.   U don’t have to do anything….theres a word called no……..and I suggest u start using it cuz I cant deal with this….i talked to Chelsea and said my goodbyes to her cuz I have a feeling we wont talk much anymore….and I have erased erins number and blocked her on facebook and sooooo ya……I think honestly…from the way ur talling….u have just had too much of me….understandable….im sure in the future it will get better but I think u need some space…and none of this would be happening if what happened at lunch today didn’t happen

    20.   No I wont! If she didn’t open her mouth I wouldn’t have been feeling near suicidal the rest of the day and we wouldn’t be argueing right now and everything would be ok….but no she had to so there u go u happy? And just so u don’t go telling ppl to get me help I am not suicidal but whatever is right before it…I was there

    21.   But hey just so we are on the same page r u even aware of the severity of what happened at lunch…or do you think it was only between me and erin……

    a.       We most certainly would be argueing because I had things to say to you. I wanted to let you know that when things like Monday night happen, and you don’t talk to me, it hurts and I miss you. I wanted to let you know that theres something about you that doesn’t let me say no, and that if it meant making you happy I wouldn’t do it no matter what, but you were too busy worrying about being embarrassed to listen

    22.   Im sorry.

    a.       I don’t want to be mad at you and I don’t want to fight anymore

    23.   Me too

    a.       So we can be ok again?

    24.   ya

    Tuesday

    25.   Not to be a downer but I cant let go of what happened at lunch…..

    a.       Erin was just stciking up for me like ive done for you a million times, she really meant you no harm she was just trying to protect me

    26.   So im not mad at u…..promise….but given what happened yesterday I feel I might be set off really easily which wont help anything so until I can cool down about the whole thing it might be best if we have our space….im not mad I just don’t wanna make things worse

    a.       That’s fine and all but did you even listen to what I said to you yesterday?

    27.   Yes I did….i just need time….school was rly hard for me today…im not lying…I don’t wanna accidentally take it out on you…

    a.       whatever

    28.   Whats the issue?? Omg seriously im trying to fix things…..beacause of what happened yesterday I was called things by many different people…I couldn’t go to lunch today….i was walking around by myself….i am not saying in any was that it was ur fault….i just don’t wanna screw up againwhile this is still going on…..space will be beneficial …dont worry!

    a.       Ok you take ur time and come talk to me when you feel better

    29.   Know what…I had no bad intentions saying what I said…and im trying to fix things….so I give up. If you wanna settle things…let me know when. Im trying idk what more you want out of me

    a.       That wasn’t bitchy I was being serious

    30.   It sounded like you wer flipping…….

    31.   No you go cool off and you come talk to me when you want like that’s really fine

    32.   Okay.

    Wednesday

    33.   Just fyi if erin doesn’t stop talking shit then this isn’t gonna get resolved any quicker

    a.       Ignore her then

    34.   Shes doing it behind my back….alec just came up to me and was literally like hey matt guess what we were talking about you at lunch….and then was saying blah blah blah erin….i cant take this….its rly destroying me….socially and emotionally….soooooo…..

    a.       I cant control what other people say and do you cant let it affect you

    35.   Yes you can! Ur like best friends with her….u cant control what erin says about me but erin can control what I say is that right?

    a.       Ill say it again that she was just sticking up for me because I wouldn’t do it myself

    36.   So stick up for me cuz I clearly cant myself…..

    a.       I stick up for you all the time, for once im sticking up for me.

    37.   This one was one that I deleted on accident that basicly said that I have every right to stand up for my self but he was still more upset than me. So yupp, that’s my life right now.

     

     

     

    and now hes ignoring me and at first it was tearing me apart i was a mess i was crying but now as the days go one and we dont talk i dont see his face so close to mine i dont want to save him anymore because hes an ass and i shouldnt have anything to do with him anymore.

Friday, 26 November 2010

  • Nebraskans have been here since sunday :)

     

    They came to spirit dance on tuesday and were absolutely shell shocked :) Mikey danced mostly with zack walsh which was good and i danced with chris. Wednesday i brought them to pep rally and they were also soooo shocked lol one grade has more people in it than their whole school. they took my bus home and we played egyptian war which they loved ahha. i fed them dinosaur chicken nuggets with spray butter and they looked at me like i had 6 heads. Yesterday i brought just chris to the thanksgiving day game and we hung out with zack and tried to convince him to go to Umass :)

     

     

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

  • Spanish class with doug _

    lots of touching, being doug, ya know lol, was touching my knees, then he tried to subtley tell me he new how to find the g spot with a come hither motion, ohboy.

     

    i have a 67 in math. cool.

Monday, 15 November 2010

  • Erica and Shay are finally daiting :) she's soooo happy haha she got to turn her clatter ring upside down :P

     

    and in other news - i got nothin. me and matt cant go anywhere cause it's not the right time. Boring, but im not lonely anymore :)

    school blows.

    Dear Matt,

    I think i love you. You dont know, you might not care, you might not love me back. But i thing you might...i hope. It would be a real waste of my time if you didnt, so i hope you do. I love your smile. I love your black and red hair. i love your sarcasm. i love your eyes, i love the soul i can see through your eyes. I love that your not afraid to touch me. i love that im not afraid to touch you. i love that we can talk with our mouths 4 inches from each other and it's not weird. I love the way you grab my shoulders and my wrists sometimes. i love when i help you with homework and i see you looking at me out the corner of my eye. I dont know what else to say matt, other than I absolutely 100% friend-love you, and i just might real love you. 

unluckyheart196

  • Visit unluckyheart196's Xanga Site
    • Name: Lindsey
    • Birthday: 5/11/1994
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 6/21/2009

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